I Am Forgiving Me

Hey.

I am forgiving me for falling today.

I am not often clumsy with my own emotions,

So when I spilled them all over you,

I wasn’t sure of the consequences

Until I was dead awake

At three in the morning,

Regretting everything,

Seeing you behind closed eyelids,

Heart drumming in rhythm to that song you’d sing

When we both would need

A really good laugh

(like I want to now).

 

I am forgiving me

For not trying to do shit about it.

I mean, you were an old soul,

A little unconventional, but charming nonetheless.

And I? I am a closet introvert

Hiding behind masks of clowns and puppet masters, because

I don’t think you’d like me in my

Silence.

 

I am forgiving me,

Slowly but surely,

As I am watching you slip away miles,

Past highways in airplanes, probably

Finding peace in another man’s arms

Universities away.

 

And just like you,

I am trying to find peace

Too.

 

By Danny Cepul

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